Last year, I had so many big plans. I made the decision that I wanted to build a career in writing and to grow my blog. So, I spent hours planning, researching, attending workshops, and creating action and idea lists to make it happen. I had big intentions and set big goals for myself.
And then I lost my nerve.
All it took was a few polite ‘no thank you’s’ from editors whom I pitched story ideas to for their publications, (I don’t enjoy cold-calling – does anybody?) and while reading some really amazing blogs, self-doubt started to creep in. Do I really have what it takes to build my blog like these guys? Am I just kidding myself? And these successful freelance writers who have their articles published everywhere? They seem far and away more amazing than I could ever imagine to be as a writer. Can I really do this?
Over Christmas and the school holidays, I put my writing action list, plans and goals to the side and hid away. Spending time with my girls and being more available to help my husband with his new business seemed like the right thing to focus on (and the easiest) while I was feeling this way.
The school holidays are well and truly over and I have had time to organise myself and reflect on why I lost my nerve. Putting myself out there with my writing and on social media is super scary. I worry so much about what people think but I absolutely need to get over this. I also need to stop comparing myself to everyone else.
This weekend, I’ve dusted myself off and picked up where I left off. Not everyone is going to like what I write and those that do won’t like everything I put out there. I would be letting myself down if I didn’t just go for it. And what would it demonstrate to my girls if I didn’t give this dream I have my absolute best shot?
So here I go again.
Have you ever wanted to really do something but then lost your nerve? Did you ever bring yourself back to do it? How did you make this happen?
Only all the time.
I do exactly as you have done and find other “busy work” to disctract me from what I should be doing.
I faced a situation yesterday where I felt judged by someone on a social media platform.
I needed to have a good talk to myself about not caring about what people think. Was I happy with my decision? Yes. Would I do the same thing again. Yes. Then I had to free myself of worrying about that other persons opinion.
Harder to do than you think, but very liberating when you get your head around it.
Hi Toni! I have only had one situation where someone wasn’t happy with something I had written but instead of attacking me online, they were very polite and sent me an email. I didn’t reply. I can imagine it would be very liberating to not worry about other people’s opinions. Something I am working very hard on!!
I have lost my career mojo since having babies and find that at this stage I am happy to have lost it. I love love love being a mummy for now!
I totally admire you for doing both. You are amazing and never doubt your worth in this world!
Thank you Tamara! xo I know, I love being a mummy too. That’s why I’m doing all of this instead of going back to work somewhere full time. I work around my babies because I want to be there for them as much as I can. Don’t think I could ever work for someone ever again!!
Danielle Bortolussi says
Hi Suzanne, I know the feeling.
I guess you just have to weigh the pros and cons in writing. Is it something you are passionate about? What would you do if you didn’t write? I find that writing is a great outlet for me. Yes, having children is amazing, but sometimes it is nice to do something that is just for you! Writing is what I do to relax and unwind. Look, if I could make some money out of doing something that I love, that would be brilliant, but in the meantime I will continue to do it because it is something I enjoy! I hope you get your mojo back!
Danielle – MrsInvisibleZebra
Writing is extremely relaxing I agree! I had a look at your blog today. Love your posts! I am now a follower! xo
Constantly! I am currently losing my nerve about singing! Practise, practise, practise……….