Last year, I had so many big plans. I made the decision that I wanted to build a career in writing and to grow my blog. So, I spent hours planning, researching, attending workshops, and creating action and idea lists to make it happen. I had big intentions and set big goals for myself.
And then I lost my nerve.
All it took was a few polite ‘no thank you’s’ from editors whom I pitched story ideas to for their publications, (I don’t enjoy cold-calling – does anybody?) and while reading some really amazing blogs, self-doubt started to creep in. Do I really have what it takes to build my blog like these guys? Am I just kidding myself? And these successful freelance writers who have their articles published everywhere? They seem far and away more amazing than I could ever imagine to be as a writer. Can I really do this?
Over Christmas and the school holidays, I put my writing action list, plans and goals to the side and hid away. Spending time with my girls and being more available to help my husband with his new business seemed like the right thing to focus on (and the easiest) while I was feeling this way.
The school holidays are well and truly over and I have had time to organise myself and reflect on why I lost my nerve. Putting myself out there with my writing and on social media is super scary. I worry so much about what people think but I absolutely need to get over this. I also need to stop comparing myself to everyone else.
This weekend, I’ve dusted myself off and picked up where I left off. Not everyone is going to like what I write and those that do won’t like everything I put out there. I would be letting myself down if I didn’t just go for it. And what would it demonstrate to my girls if I didn’t give this dream I have my absolute best shot?
So here I go again.
Have you ever wanted to really do something but then lost your nerve? Did you ever bring yourself back to do it? How did you make this happen?